How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize