I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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