I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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