I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
