Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize