Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
