You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
