I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
