I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
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So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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