Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you will always have a special place in my vag
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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