you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize