I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We need to get me chipped asap
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
