How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
