i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
