i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
