Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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