He felt like a one man threesome
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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