Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We're too hungover to prance.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Shame - the story of my life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
