I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Bring me that man meat
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
