I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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