Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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