i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
