I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize