Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
