We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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