she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize