You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
