oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
