i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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