My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
