just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Randomize
