Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
