How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
