I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
