She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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