Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am midnight drunk by noon
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
