Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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