Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
