How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
