Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
