Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
