he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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