why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
love makes seman taste better
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So much Jack, so little girl.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
