I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
