He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
