Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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