he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
