I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize