u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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