I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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