At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
