I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
