just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
