Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
