I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
