youre lurking in front of me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
