those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
