Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
