Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The struggles of a small town man whore
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize