What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
