we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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