I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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