Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
