Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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