Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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