You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
