Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
