Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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