I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
