are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
