Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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